I am a Mom

First of all I love being a mom...almost always. It seems like I waited so long for the chance to be a mom and I really relish the chance to stay home and be with my girls all the time. I'm one of the wierd ones that would really rather have them with me almost always than to have a break on even a semi-regular basis. Not that I don't get sick of the mundane parts of momhood because I do, and sometimes I just really wish that I could play a game of pinball on the computer without interruption. Sometimes I have wondered why I find such satisfaction in being at home when so many of my other friends don't really. A few work part-time and I sometimes think that they get such recognition for the work that they do there that the lack of recognition on the homefront, combined with how exhausted they are is part of the reason they consider work as a break. I don't need that kind of break myself and admit that I only have two little girls who are not that much of a handful. We also don't need extra money, as long as I control my spending urge, so I recognize that I have a huge blessing in being able to stay at home and be happy doing it most of the time. This whole introspection thing has come because the other day I was listening to part of a devotional on TV. Now that we actually broke down and have basic cable I can actually see and hear the devotionals. The speaker, Elder Pullman I think, was reading a scripture found in 2 Timothy 3:1-7. This is the scripture that talks about the last days when "men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud..." and so on. What caught me was the last few verses of that famous scripture. "For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth." I have never associated this scripture with modern day Mormon women. I always have thought it was talking about prostitutes and druggies, people of that caliber. But as he was reading it I had the sudden thought that it could be applied another way. I thought of moms who aren't happy being at home. Sure they love their kids, but they long for adult conversation and a break from the momhood mundane chores. They are good moms but can't wait for the day that they can go back to work when their kids are old enough to be in school. The extra income certainly comes in handy when kids are old enough to want danse lessons, piano lessons, and so on. Could the divers lusts not actually be refering to lusts of a sexual nature but lusts that take a good Mormon mom and create in her a desire for outside recognition of her skills in the workplace or more money? I wondered this and then thought that really the greatest challenge for moms might be to find satisaction in being at home all the time. Because face it, to be at home and to be really good, I mean a really great Mom takes a lot of skill, hard work, and generally is rewarded by very little credit. To deal with the cabin fever and stir crazy atmosphere, to live with very little adult interaction and to always be putting others first is not easy and at best not always fun. To read the same story a dozen times or to make dinner every single stupid night (sorry Julie I just can't like cooking) is not my idea of stimulating work. What's really hard for me is to continually be on guard to stay patient in the face of what seems like an obvious stupidity on the part of the dog or toddler. I mean how many times have I said "No barks" or "Don't take the toy away from the baby" or "Emmie, how many times have I said 'stay out of the dogfood!" Anyway I guess sometimes I think about when I taught school and how much I enjoyed it and I wonder if I would go back to teaching when the kids are in school. Then I think about how much energy it takes to do teenagers well and all the things I don't have time to do now with little ones that I would like to do. Like for instance, temple work on a weekly basis, geneology, visiting the sick and elderly, going to the cannery more, volunteering at schools, soup kitchens and other places, making homemade bread for people who need a boost and the miriad of other things I see my mom and Alan's mom doing now that their kids are grown. And then I think that maybe there has to be some people that are stay at home moms their whole lives. Maybe that should be me.
Disclaimer: I know many can't be full-time at home moms and no worries. When it comes right down to it working is between yourself, the Lord and your spouse. This was not meant to be a judgement but rather a chance to count my blessings that I have the opportunity and temperment (mostly) to be able to be at home. This was my measly attempt to validate my decision and put my thoughts down on the subject.